To every and all in Cullowhee,
Politics. That is half of everything here at Western, half of anything really. But here at WCU it seems to shine more and more. Look around and the average student will see unfinished construction projects, plenty of campus police, and unpaid parking fines fluttering in the wind. They can get in their car and turn on a radio station that makes listening to AM look like a viable alternative, and now they can pickup the student paper and find another issue that reads worse than the latest IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A… book. If you have no clue what book I am talking about don’t despair it really isn’t worth reading. But this isn’t the first letter that the paper has received like this is it? Many students have written in and complained about the conditions they have to suffer while attending school at Western, though rarely does anyone offer any solutions to the problem. I am not writing today to solve Western’s problem nor offer any solutions that will help ease the madness that seizes many of the students on campus. The madness created by poor parking. The madness created by a poor radio station. The madness created by a poor paper. And the madness that I am sure you can find at any and every university in this great state of North Carolina. I am writing today just to add my piece.
It seems that Secret Agent Brian Harkins hasn’t seen any radical change since his first letter (that took up nearly an entire page) and he seemed to be quite perturbed by Dawn Pasely’s (Roseanne Barr and Shannon Dougherty’s love child) rather unprofessional and extremely rude reply. So because Americans hate to be censored we allow him to send another full page LETTER to the Carolinian. In this letter he says exactly the same thing he did in the first with the exception that he makes a few apologies. The apologies are made only because he made a few assumptions, and not because he truly cared about being offensive or rude to anyone who might have been reading the article. 007 Harkins as Samuel Jackson said in The Long Kiss Goodnight, “That’s what happens when you make assumptions—You make and ass out of you and umption.” Now was Ms. Pasely’s reply rude? Yes. Is the food service here that much worse? Maybe. Is the radio worse? Yes. Is the paper worse? Well I don’t know I haven’t been here for 75% of the last decade getting a bachelor’s. But I will take your word for it. Is parking bad? Of course, but it is about to get a lot worse. Is the money we received from the bond referendum going to be used in a manner less than what was promised? Well we can wait and see how it plays out, but I know that Killian better get the 1.7 million it is supposed to be allotted. We only have the best damn elementary education program in the state. I guess it is more important to be the most “wired” though. Is Mr. Brian Harkins wasting even more of the precious space in the thing he is so loudly lobbying to make better? Does a man miss the toilet when he pisses in the dark?
Brian we are all glad that you feel strongly to change campus life. We are all glad that you have been here 71/2 glorious years (although I wouldn’t go announcing that). We are all glad that you are well known through many of the departments here at Western. But after 71/2 years you damn well should be. And we are all glad that you were a lower level corporal, at best, working at the NSA. But….
NO ONE CARES!!!!
Take your bashing like a man. I have written many letter to the Carolinian. There have been many replies that have thoroughly handed me my proverbial tail. Dr. Jeff Neff in the Biology department wrote a rather eloquent ass kicker when I wrote my LETTER to the Carolinian about parking a year or so ago. I never replied back with a letter calling Dr. Neff cheap nor uncaring toward student needs nor telling how he has a 1989 metro that he packs him, his wife, and both high school kids of his into just to save gas (Dr. Neff the last part is just rumor). And you know why? Because if you were as mature and professional as you say you are than it isn’t called for.
Students if you don’t like the paper, then go help write it. If you don’t like the radio, go help run it. If you don’t like the parking situation…
Well you are stuck on that one. But if you truly are disgusted with something at Western, do something to change it. Don’t just write in a bitch about it. It is great for everyone else’s self esteem to know that we are all in the same boat. But if no one wants to stand up and lead a movement to change it then what good does all the bitching do. Trust me Chancellor Bardo, Chief Macabey (Hoped I spelled that right), and the rest of WCU’s staff can always shut their doors and not have to listen to the noise. They still get paid, and high school seniors will still choose to come to Western. And unless someone chooses to stand and lead, things will still be the same.
Captain Harkins, here is another idea—try and focus on some of the good things here at Western. We are the most wired campus (Matt Kennedy made some good points about that last week). We have the best education program in the state, and if that isn’t important who is going to teach your children? We have one of the best damn public school nursing program, and our school of business ain’t to shabby neither. What about are track teams? They have been conference champs, and finish strongly almost every year I have been here. I never hear enough about their meets. But that is a waste of paper right Mr. Harkins. Or what about rugby? Since it is a sport played a prestigious Ivy League schools I am sure it will be mature enough for you. They are damn good also. But I am starting rant and rave, I think everyone gets the picture. So Brian Harkins do us all favor don’t put up, please just shut up. I have no need to rounds with you, or start a printed fight with you, because I am better than you. So don’t bother to reply. Western students and myself have no time for you. Just try and graduate before you make your stay here two full presidential terms.
Thanks Dave Marriott
PS. The max a LETTER for the paper should be is 250 words. Sorry I know I broke it this once.