Commentary: Random List

There are some things in this world that make me stop and say, “What?” Like why are there no B batteries? Batteries start at A and work their way down to D and further, but B just seemed to drop out of the alphabet at the time. Even though none of the answers to these questions or concerns will not change the world to any degree, sometimes it just feels nice to ponder. One of the most annoying things for me is George Bush’s smile. Whether someone is for or against Bush really doesn’t concern me, but his smile just seems to say to the world, “I know more than you.” I believe that Deepak Chopra, president of Alliance for a New Humanity, described his smile the best when he wrote for New York Magazine saying, “One of the most unnerving things about George Bush is his smile….It’s become markedly patronizing, saying, ‘I’m right on this. The rest of you just don’t understand.’…It’s been pointed out that until he became president, Bush didn’t smirk. It’s grown into a disturbing tic, expressing a mixture of contradictory traits: smugness, disdain, self-consciousness, doubt.” I’m not sure when this smile started to appear, but the more I see it, the more irritating it becomes. The next line in question is why does orange juice taste bad after we brush our teeth? For that matter, why does anything taste bad after brushing? It’s not a particularly horrible taste, just not that pleasant first thing in the morning. In the Book of Totally Useless Information, Don Voorhees writes, “This is due to a simple matter of chemistry. Most toothpastes contain the detergent sodium lauryl sulfate (SLS). Leftover SLS in your mouth makes sugar taste much less sweet than normal, and causes the acid in the juice to taste bitter.” For all the chemistry majors, this was probably an easy answer; but for the rest of the world, the mystery of the OJ is finally solved. Anyone who buys a CD or DVD knows what task is ahead-getting the darn thing open. The anti-theft measures that are put in place to prevent people from stealing can be the mental breaking point for some. CDs usually are easier than the DVD. They both have the usual plastic over the case, but most CDs have just one of those sticky, thin pieces of tape covering an edge. DVDs however can have a piece of that tape on all sides of the DVD making it a hair-pulling, case breaking, swearing episode. Even though I know that there are devices that were specifically designed to open these problem cases, it’s just more fun to watch someone go head to head with one of these. I also know that these are designed to prevent theft, which in turn saves the customer money. But if the product has to be protected to this extent, then maybe a new case design is needed. Those movies where the punches and speech don’t match what you hear are one of the best forms of entertainment. The slightly off words with unmatched motions of the mouth seem to be an endless form of humor. Okay, maybe not so much slightly as not even coming close to matching, but the larger the gap, the funnier the show. The best form of this entertainment is the Spike series MXC or Most Extreme Elimination Challenge. The contestants are ordinary people trying their best to win these insane obstacles for some unclear reason. Watching these people isn’t the only odd feature of the show, it’s what the hosts and contestants say. Being completely dubbed in English, the show takes place in Japan with outrageous sayings and cheap-looking costumes. Why a show like this is funny and continues to have a strong audience is a little unclear to me, but the fact is, people just find off the wall situations funny.