Recently my mother, who is elatedly awaiting my approaching wedding after I graduate, gave me the book The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. I thought to myself that this book is going to be just like any other self-improvement guide: mediocre tips and unrealistic goals, all topped off with lame humor. In giving the book a fair chance, I discovered that Chapman truly wants to help people. The goals he sets forth are motivating, the commentary is entertaining, and the book itself is a simple, weekend read that will inspire those in relationships. Chapman received his Ph.D. from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and completed postgraduate work in our own school system at University of North Carolina at Greensboro , as well as at Duke University. His book The Five Love Languages has sold 3 million copies in English alone and has been translated into 34 languages. This New York Times Bestseller offers real-life couples’ testimonies that Chapman has collected during his 30 years of experience as a marriage counselor, some with remarkable outcomes. One particular couple was married 35 years and did not know how to show their love for each other. After they discovered their love languages and worked towards improving their relationship they soon began to see their marriage turn completely around. Chapman puts emphasis on five distinct “love languages”: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. He insists that people typically have one love language that speaks to them, and when it is expressed to them by their partner they will then feel loved. This book also discusses the “in-love experience” as Chapman calls it, which is the time period at the beginning of all relationships where everything is hearts and roses. During this time it is hard to imagine your love will change and that the relationship will require work to maintain it. “Eventually we all descend from the clouds and plant our feet on earth again. Our eyes are opened, and we see the warts of the other person,” says Chapman. When this happens it is important to know how to speak your partners love language. Some people will automatically know which love language they are before even reading the guide, but for those who do not, there is a profile assessment included. The assessment features 30 pairs of statements to help evaluate your primary love language. The majority of WCU students are not married, but I think the concepts covered in The Five Love Languages can be applied to romantic relationships of all magnitudes, and can prepare those who are soon to be married as well.
3.5 out of 5 stars
