POINTMTV: A Crock of Crap

On television sets across the country, people are watching the best of music videos from the best musical artists, 24 hours a day on a channel that surpasses all others when it comes to musical content. That channel is M2, and it’s estimated that over five people have the station, either through a satellite or a local cable provider.

The rest of us, however, are stuck with MTV, that crock of crap starring Carson Daly the Dancing Monkey that shows approximately 85% stupid shows like “The Real World” and “Road Rules,” 2% decent shows like Daria and Jackass, 12% boy-band posturing, and 1% music videos.

Hey, remember that time when MTV showed music videos? Me neither. If it weren’t for VH1, I think I would’ve forgotten what they were completely.

Here’s my proposition for the execs at MTV that would make me and my kind, i.e. sentient, thinking life forms (sorry Alex), a little happier with the programming. All it involves is pulling two plugs from the main channel board and switching them. Make M2 the regular station showing actual music videos (what a frickin’ concept!). Then, make the current MTV something else… like Nickelodeon 2 or something. Simple solution.

And don’t even… don’t even get me started on the quality of videos nowadays. It seems often times as though, with a few exceptions, I could be sitting and watching the same video over and over without realizing that it’s two different bands playing a song. Where have all of the original concepts gone? I mean, it’s usually one of three things: a bunch of guitar-bashing white guys throwing themselves around on a stage, intercut with scenes of them walking/ driving around breaking stuff, a bunch of rappers driving pimped up coupes who have booty-dancers grinding their legs, or a girl/ girl group in a Technicolor fantasy world where suddenly there’s a bunch of backup dancers too.

The few good videos that come along are diamonds in the rough. Over the past ten years or so, I can think of only a few that stick out enough in my mind to make a favorite video list.

To start off with, the most recent fave is Fatboy Slim’s “Weapon of Choice,” a Spike Jonze-directed video, featuring a tap-dancing/ flying Christopher Walken. A religion should be based on that video alone. Another Jonze-produced video that caught the eye of many was Weezer’s “Buddy Holly. ” The video featured intelligent editing that put the Weez boys playing a dance where Richie and the Fonz from “Happy Days” rock out to the music.

Comic maker Todd Macfarlane has some good concepts for videos, most notably the high-octane animated video for Pearl Jam’s “Do the Evolution.” Daft Punk has videos that are as eclectic as their songs… my personal favorite is “Da Funk,” which features a man in a cast who has a head like a dog. The art of the mini-film seems to be lost in the music video today and has been replaced by much posturing. U2 didn’t even appear in their breathtaking video for “All I Want is You,” a cinematic homage to the legendary film “Freaks.”

These videos are more than good, but the problem comes from the fact that MTV refuses to show these videos, along with countless others that deserve a spot in the rotation. One can only take so much of Limp Bizkit’s “Rollin’,” and personally, I reached the breaking point after the first viewing.

I miss 120-Minutes. I miss Buzz Clips. Hell, I even miss Headbanger’s Ball. But in the junior high school, girl driven demographic that MTV currently seems to be following, it’s doubtful that these shows or, in fact, any decent programming will be making it’s way to the screen.

Start the revolution now. Assassinate “Say What Karaoke.” Kill “TRL.” Exterminate “Road Rules” with extreme prejudice.

In the words of the immortal Dead Kennedys, “MTV get off the air.”