Carrie’s Rant

Welcome to my corner of the newspaper where I do nothing but complain (as we all know I enjoy it so) about totally random and useless things. This issue’s rant is on fashion horrors: what went wrong? Now, I’m no fashion expert (nor do I ever want to be), but I do have common sense, or at least some of the time. And some of the fashion fads out there are just stupid and pointless. Take the half shirts Old Navy produces for example. I’ll admit, I’m a fan of Old Navy and Abercrombie and Fitch, but someone was obviously smoking something when they come up with this idea. What’s the point in wearing a shirt or jacket that barely comes down as far as the belly button? It’s just a way for the company to say, “Hey, let’s charge the na’ve public $20 for a shirt that only costs us less than $2 to make and they’ll have to buy a regular shirt just so they look ‘cool.'” Really and truly, it’s just a rip-off. What’s with the shorts with words printed on the butt? Like creepy old men need another reason to stare…And believe me, I don’t need to read “brat” on someone’s shorts to realize it’s the truth. And don’t get me started on Ugg boots. These things are hideously ugly and outrageously priced. It doesn’t even snow here, people. And even if it does, we’re lucky to get an inch. It isn’t like we have to climb a mountain in two feet of snow to get to class. And if it’s so cold outside that you have to wear the sinful things, why wear miniskirts with them? What point are you trying to make? That your feet can’t withstand 20 degrees, but your bare legs can? And guys, I really thought the crotch-knee, saggin’, baggin’ jeans would have gone out of fashion by now. I don’t want to watch the full moon while trying to take a test. This isn’t The Full Monty. Buy a belt that fits and keep your assets to yourself. This concludes my portion of the newspaper. Join me next time when I complain about something totally random and useless.