An honest appearance

In the spectrum of stereotypical things I could complain about when it comes to women (including things that every stand-up comedian has beaten to death), the absolute most irritating aspect I can think of is simply this: dishonesty.

I don’t mean that women are liars or naturally dishonest and I certainly don’t mean to say that this applies to all women. And to further separate myself from sounding like a sexist jerk, I don’t blame women solely for this plague upon individual sensibilities and honesty. I think we live in a culture that encourages and maybe even requires lying, and if MTV is any indication, the most famous and most fabulous of us are revered because of our extreme dishonesty.

Take Britney Spears, for instance. How many years did she play up the innocent-girl-turned-naughty thing, using the clear accent and pop songs that vaguely hinted at budding sexuality. She was hugely successful. But now we know Britney Spears is an insane southern girl who was beyond her depth the moment she stepped into the viewfinder of a television camera. Every facet of her personality was utterly fabricated and America embraced this demi-person as if she were our collective cute neighbor girl.

Granted, Spears is an extreme case with an equally extreme backlash. Nevertheless, how many girls out there dye their hair blonde? How many girls wear colored contact lenses? How many girls lay in tanning beds until their skin sizzles like bacon in a frying pan to obtain that one- maybe two-shades-darker skin tone that only a thin layer of skin cancer can provide?

And why? Is the blonde-haired, blue-eyed school girl really so attractive anymore? We’re talking about this Aryan, Barbie doll image that takes so much concentration to maintain that very little personality or uniqueness is able to hide between layers of foundation, mascara, lipstick, eye shadow, and whatever else Halle Barry and Wal-Mart are hocking this week in an effort to steamroll any individual physical features a girl may have. If you have pores, you better cover them with powder because your skin looking like it isn’t a sheet of tan wrapping paper is so last year.

Look, you don’t have to go completely without make-up. But there’s a difference between enhancing and fabricating. You might be the best-looking person to walk the planet earth, but if there’s nothing deeper than those big blue eyes, you may as well keep walking. Being fun to look at and fun to be with are two very different things. Be honest about who you are.