Sex and the Valley

Sex and the Valley is an ongoing column developed specifically for advice on troubling sexual situations, discussing the many different aspects of sexuality for men and women, and also just giving basic information about the practice of sex. Seeing as the Western Carolinian is a college newspaper with a college level audience, it is safe to say, “We are all adults here.” This column isn’t a way for me to tell you what to do, or to lecture the public about the choices you may or make not make in college; this column is just a way to reach out to students at WCU and offer help, advice, whatever you need, regarding a topic that is quite prominent in today’s world.

With that being said, I want to talk about sex, but in direct relation to our daily college lives. My first topic: Do college students want a relationship or do they want a series of hook ups? Now, we’ve all been there and have had our occasional “uh-oh’s” but a major question regarding college life is, are people promiscuous by choice, or are they trying to find that special someone?

“There are many stresses and pressures of college, especially relationship wise. And the endless search for that ‘special’ individual only adds to the stress,” said current WCU Sophomore, Andrea Craven. “I want a boyfriend but it’s not easy. Society tells us not to seek, that these types of things just fall in our hands.”

My question is, why do some girls, such as Ms. Craven, have such a huge stress upon them about finding that right guy? What makes it so unachievable? My answer came to me as soon as I got a male perspective on the issue.

“Honestly, I would say I prefer to be single,” said current WCU Sophomore, Robert Lynch. “Being single makes it much easier to be able to concentrate on school and you don’t have to worry about being tied down and devoting a set amount of time to a certain person everyday. I mean, it’s nice to have comfort from a relationship, but it is much easier being single.”

Well, there it is ladies, the main reason (in a nutshell) that he won’t commit 100 % to you. We college women are on a never-ending search for love, and the men just want to chill and not be tied down. There’s nothing wrong with either, but if you look at it from an outsider’s perspective, it’s totally complicated. Cyndi Lauper was wrong; in this case it’s the guys who just want to have fun.

So to all you wonderful girls out there waiting to be swept off you feet, maybe be a little more cautious with your heart. We’ve all been hurt and know it sucks, so make sure a guy is 100 % into being tied down with you. We all want a fairy tale, but college life is some much more complex. For all we know, our prince charming may still be maturing.

And to all you guys who do or don’t want a relationship, all I can say is please be up front with your lady friend. If you don’t want her obsessing over you (in a bad way), and just want to hang out with her, no strings attached, then tell her. We’re in college; everyone is old enough to hear and deal with the truth. So be honest. If you hook up with a girl, and do not tell her you aren’t looking for that “flame,” trust me, she’s going to get a wrong impression, and any friendship that could have been –won’t be.

So take it from me, do your own thing and be honest with yourself and others. We’re in college, we’re having a blast and we’re going to mess up, but you can avoid many messy situations if you can just be straight up with people, especially members of the opposite sex.

Well that’s me; I’m signing off but would really appreciate any type of comments or feedback. You can email me through the newspapers email address at and I will use all of your comments as content for further topics to discuss. Let me know what you think.